Castiel Messes Up
by Mishamiga67
Summary: Title basically says it all, This is for a prompt my friend gave me "Cas pulling an infomercial and screwing everything up so Dean gets annoyed" Just a few short little blurbs I just wrote pretty quickly, there might be a few errors so I'm sorry. Enjoy. Rated M to be safe


CRASH

"Dammit, Cas" Dean mumbled as he walked into the kitchen. "What did you do this time?"

Castiel was sitting on the floor, surrounded by pots and pans, clutching his throbbing foot.

"Dean, I…" Cas looked ay him sheepishly. "You were busy, and my stomach was making a noise, so I was trying to cook… but I seem to have underestimated the weight of this utensil," He pointed at one of the smaller pots.

Dean shook his head, "It's fine Cas, just be more careful next time." The dark haired man nodded

Dean bent to grab his friends hand and pull him to his feet. "C'mon, let's get you some food."

XXXXX

Dean's head slammed into the passenger seat of the Impala "OW! Careful Cas!" He said, rubbing the back of his head, "You shouldn't accelerate that fast"

"Sorry Dean." Castiel pulled the lever to the R symbol like Dean had showed him, and backed up a bit, shaking all three of them up again in the process. Sam groaned from the back seat, clutching his stomach.

"Guys, I think I'm going to be sick." Dean turned and saw his brother looked a bit green.

"Sam, if you hurl in my baby I swear I'll kill you." He glared

"Fine," Sam mumbled. "just let me out!"

"Whatever you say." Dean replied. "Cas, go forward just a little and stop on the side of the road here, got it?"

Castiel nodded and sped to the side of the road, where he lurched to a sudden halt and sent the three of them crashing forward, hitting their heads.

Sam jumped out of the car and leaned over into the grass, puking his guts into the foliage. Dean and Cas got out and stood by, waiting until Sam had finished. Castiel stepped forward.

"Sam, I am sorry." He laid a hand on Sam's shoulder.

"its fine, Cas. But maybe Dean should drive the rest of the way home?"

Dean took the keys from Castiel, "Definitely."

XXXXX

Dean woke to the sound of running water at sometime close to midnight. He wondered what would be the reason for someone running so much water so late. Maybe Sam wasn't feeling well. He took baths when he got headaches. Dean decided to go check on him, but Sam was sound asleep in his bed. Maybe it was Cas?

Dean continued down the hall to the bathroom, but stopped outside the door when he stepped in something wet. He knocked softly.

"Cas, is that you?"

The door flew open, revealing a scared looking, and very naked, Castiel with drenched hair sticking up at odd angles. He held the plunger and a towel.

"Dean! Help! I can't make the water stop!" Dean pushed passed him to see an overflowing bathtub with about a dozen towels floating around in it

"Cas, what the hell?" Dean quickly shut off the faucet and reached to undo the bathtub plug.

"I'm sorry I broke the bathtub." Cas said, kneeling to sop up some of the liquid with the towel he held.

"Dammit, Cas. You should have woken up Sam or me." He got a few more towels and bent to help clean up the mess as well. "How did this happen anyway?"

"Well," Cas said "I wanted to bathe and get clean but when I got in the tub I couldn't make the water stop… I'm sorry."

Dean shrugged. "It's okay, just be careful."

Castiel nodded. "I will be."

"Good. Go to bed, Cas."

"Thank you, Dean."

XXXXX

The music was loud, but Dean didn't seem to mind, so Castiel showed no outward signs of discomfort. He did not want to upset Dean. A bartender asked for their order and Dean ordered Scotch for both himself and Cas. Castiel took a small sip of the alcohol when it arrived.

"Like that?" he asked Dean for reassurance.

"Good, take it slow, scotch is expensive here and we don't want you getting drunk."

Cas nodded and looked around. Dean brought him here tonight to "pick up chicks", but Cas was not sure how lifting women into the air would benefit them at all, and he told Dean as much.  
"Not literally picking them up, Cas" Dean looked exasperated and Castiel was even more confused by this.

"Then what do you mean?"

"Cas, we're going to flirt with girls and go home with them to have sex with them."

"Oh."

"Yeah"

"and this is… customary for men like us to do?"

"Of course! Here I'll show you" Dean took the last gulp of his scotch and stood, turning to face the crowd of sweaty, horny, young adults. Castiel followed suit, following as Dean approached two girls about their age.

One had blonde hair. She wore a black dress that exposed her cleavage obviously and lipstick that was inhumanly red. The other was taller, with brown hair and a green dress that did not expose her breasts as much as the first girl's, but still, quite a bit.

"Hey," Dean said, "My name is Dean, this is Cas." He gestured to his friend.

The blonde girl smiled at Dean, "I'm Nicole, and this is Lucy."

Lucy smiled politely "Nice to meet you." She said to Cas

Dean nudged him. Oh, right. He was supposed to flirt. Castiel cleared his throat. "did you know that the term "picking up chicks" refers to getting them to engage in intercourse with you, rather than the expected, lifting them into the air?"

"Cas!" Dean elbowed him, hen leaned in to whisper a frustrated "so not cool" into his ear.

Dean looked at the girls, chuckling nervously, "Sorry about that, my friend here is drunk."

Castiel was puzzled at why Dean was lying to the women. "No I'm not, you didn't want me to get drunk, have you forgotten?"

Lucy and Nicole looked from one man to the other. Dean was glaring at Cas.

"Um… is this your way of telling us you want a foursome or something?" Nicole asked.

Cas furrowed his brow, but Dean spoke up before he could say something stupid again. "No! No foursome… but, uh." Dean grinned, "I wouldn't say no to a threesome"

A half hour later, Castiel sat patiently alone on a purple couch inside Nicole and Lucy's apartment. Outburst of "Oh Yeah!" and "Right there, baby could be heard from a bedroom down the hall. Castiel did not really understand what was "right there" or why one of the girls was yelling at a baby, but he supposed it was normal, as Dean had not left yet.

Cas did feel ashamed, however, because he could not fulfill his duty for the night and "pick up women" but he would apologize later. Little does he know that Dean is much happier that tonight turned out the way it did. Cas turned out to be an awesome wingman.


End file.
